Goodbye November....

I am guessing that just like me, you are all thankful for something. Just like most of us, as Christmas approaches one of those things is my job and bi-weekly pay check!

The hotel has been filled with guests visiting family for the holidays and also business travelers.

Today, we have 5 Norwegian guests. They were quiet whilst hanging around waiting for each other to arrive at the lobby  before they set off for their business meeting. Almost immediately I noticed that the 50 something male group leader still had the sticky clear adhesive foot long sticker stuck to the back of his new jeans. I couldn't quite make out the size, sorry!

I tried to discreetly inform the guest of his Jeans addition... The phone rang and I had to nab that,  he dashed outside to start his engine in order to defrost his windscreen. Basically I never got to tell him... and I don't think any of the people he was with told him either. I wonder how much of the day went by before someone did?

So just a few days after Thanksgiving... Christmas has arrived in a body bag !

Yes Mr Bill and Victor came down with a body bag... and out of the big body bag came the very enormous tree.

Miss B was busy Fluffing it up... yes you read correctly. She was "FLUFFING"

I felt that I should help, no girl should have to fluff alone.

I am sure tomorrow when I get in that the next step of decorating will need to be done. I am hoping that it has been completed... I am not sure I am up for such a task!

I am a Front Desk Clerk...

I have advanced degrees in accounting, public relations, marketing, computer science, civil engineering and Swahili. I can also Read Minds.

Of course, I have a reservation that you booked six years ago, even though you don't have a confirmation number and you think it was under the name that starts with the letter X. It is not a problem for me to give you seven connecting, nonsmoking, pool side suites with two king beds each, four Rollaways and YES, I can install a wet bar. I know it is my fault that we do not have a helicopter landing pad.

I am a front desk clerk. I am expected to speak all languages. It is obvious to me that when you booked your reservation for Friday, you really meant Saturday. My company has entrusted me with all financial information and decisions and Yes, I can tell you why your bill from March 1989 contained a 50 cent phone charge because you obviously never pay for phone charges.

I understand that Mr. McGullicutty's Widget Manufacturing is a vast empire that will make or break our Hotel. Yes, I am lying to you when I tell you we have no rooms available. It is not a problem for me to quickly construct several more guest rooms. This time I will not forget the heli-pad. It is my fault that everyone wants to stay here. I should have known you were coming in even though you have no reservation.

I am a front desk clerk: an operator, bell hop, breakfast hostess, houseman, guest services rep, housekeeper, sales coordinator, information, a map, entertainment critic, restaurateur, stock broker, computer technician, ice breaker, postman, dispatcher, laundry attendant, fax expert and verbal punching bag. I also know why room 239 isn't answering their telephone.

I always know where to find the best Vegetarian, Kosher, Mongolian Barbeque Restaurants. I know exactly what to see and do in this town without spending any money.I take personal blame for the airline food (or lack thereof), traffic jams, rental car flat tires, and the national economy. I realize that you meant to book your reservations here. People often confuse us with "Melody Delight Motel". Of course, I can fit you in and yes, I understand you are entitled to a special fifty cent discount because you are affiliated with the Hoboken Accounting Club.

I am expected to smile, sympathize, console, up sell, down sell (and know when to do which), perform, sing, dance, fix the printer and I know exactly where Pottsman Trott Lane is.

I am a Front Desk Clerk.

I do all of these things...

.... and I still have to try and look busy when the Management is around.

Its Been a while....

Summer past in the blink of an eye. I cannot believe how quickly it went.

It was a tough Summer for me being the first one I have worked in 15 years, but boy was it interesting!

Not too many funny stories for you as I was so busy with just day to day hotel life. People vacationing are completely different to the people we have staying during the OFF season.

The vacationers and a little more demanding and always later for breakfast.

We do have our residents that are still with us Rm # 159. I am not sure what the story is as it just is simply too unbelievable now, and I really do not wish to know what they are doing to pay for the room as it can only be bad.

We have a new regular guest Mr C, nice chap not sure why he ended up staying with us on and off for the past 4 weeks, but he is pleasant, causes no bother and is the last to breakfast at 9.35am!

We did install a lot of Flat Screen TV's since my last blog... this went smoothly and now our King section and rooms with 2 Queen beds have this nice upgrade.

Last week Panasonic delivered the 36 extra remotes that Mr PP ordered. These 36 Remotes arrived in 36 boxes..... Why I have no idea but they charged us $189.00 Delivery!

As you can imagine Mr.PP was outraged by the delivery charged he was slapped with whilst B and myself worried about the amount of trees killed to make the 35 extra boxes!

B and I Joined a local Gym... L too.

We have been very good and try to go every day. As a Weight Watcher you would think that this would be helping me... alas NO. I am watching the scales go up and not down and my body ache more and more.

Sunday at 9.30 I arrived at the gym for Body Pump... B surely was going to show up. NO! As I peeked in the studio, thinking to myself "this is when you turn and get on the Elliptical" another lady forced me in with her smile saying she would help me set up... It was the set up that scared me!

One Bar Bell with weights plus extras
One Step with 3 risers
One Mat
Two 5lb plus hand weights
Towel

I sucked it up and pumped the power for an hour, and after 30 mins of the instructor yelling at me to stick my backside out... I seemed to have good form!

Today I ache in places I should not be aching... My poor chest, triceps, Backs of the legs and my butt!

Well as we all know there is only on cure.... another session at the gym!

See you there B, don't let me down, I may get dragged in to some other Bad Ass Class!

BTW this would all be well and good if I was at my goal weight and was svelte like.

Mysteries....

Today was Sandwich Tuesday - YIPPE !

I am happy to report that the WW in me shared my half of the sub with E, this always turns the puss face in to a happy bunny!

We have had a bit of a dilema...well more of an ID crisis! 'Ganja Boy' checked out with T on Friday, NO long hair... was here over the weekend with long hair.... is it fake?

I can resolve the issue, I was running errands yesterday and low and behold in the grocery store I spy 'Ganja Boy' with a friend. I hide as I don't want to be spied in civilian clothing by guests!

I think his friend with no hair has been staying with him, and checking out for him and confusing us. I can report that 'Ganja Boy' still has long hair !

Today I answered the phone as was asked where were we located... I confirmed our location and the gentleman on the phone told me that he had a delivery for me, he doesn't usually deliver in my town, but there were on the way!

As I was checking out a group of guests a pizza delivery boy passes through the lobby.

Short while later the telephone rings... Mr PP answers it.

I hear him discussing Room numbers... and he is saying there is no one in that room... we don't have a room of that number... I am not sure." Send your delivery boy to the front desk"

A minute later, the pizza boy is standing in front of us, telling us he has a delivery for Rm # 524.

We inform him that we do not have a Room 524.. he did not have a guest name. He informed us he has never had to deliver to this town before and that he is from another town close by. We discuss that there is another Hotel of our chain in that town... and could he possibly be at the wrong hotel. He said he had delivered to that hotel before and it could be possible....

Off he goes....

20 mins go by and a guest comes down... as he is passing the Front desk he stops and say's " I ordered food and it might arrive as I nip out. If I leave you some money can you pay for it please?" Sure not a problem.

As he is exiting the hotel... I look at Mr PP as say... "OMG that was his Pizza, he is in room 254!" He dashes out to the Car Park to check with the guest where he ordered from and what he ordered... sure enough I was correct.

As we are laughing out loud the telephone rings.. it is the pizza restaurant. " Has anyone been down looking for food?"

Yes they have, can you please confirm the order... he huffed and puffed and insisted they don;t deliver to our town... but they were heading back as they had no luck at the other town!

The Guest comes in from running his errand, and I explain what is happening, that is food is heading back to him, for the 2nd time. As we finish our conversation and he is heading up to his room, the delivery boy arrives back.

Can you believe that the Delivery Boy blamed me?! It was all my fault for not suggesting he go to 254??

I did tell him that if anyone is to blame it is the pizza place for not asking for a name and telephone number, and for taking down the room number incorrectly!

I have never been able to order food without leaving my Name and Number?!

I think that was the longest pizza delivery ever, and it had to have been cold for sure.

One last thing I have to mention.. and then I am done.

When taking a reservation today I asked... "What type of room would you like?

She spouted off..."The most Allergen Free, quiet room... Not above the Kitchen, Not near the Ice Machine, Not Near the lift, not near the door. As for size of room... the cheapest!" I then get to method of payment.... I am reserving it with my MasterCard because the expiration date on my American Express is expiring before I arrive, but I require you to remind me at check in that I want to pay using my AMEX. I might forget ! ! ! !

Gosh I must make a note of that one !

Just a regular Tuesday !

Nothing too exciting to report this past week....

No sign of Ganja boy since my last blog.

Every Tuesday host a Networking Meeting in our conference room, and today was no different. They start early... networking at 7-9.

I was startled by the arrival of Mr.PP at 7.15 this morning... he tried to sneak up on me, but I sensed he was there. I thought for a moment he was here to check up on me... making sure I was attending to the Breakfast room as I should... I really should have made him sit in my chair for a while so he could benefit from the blinding sun, and  I could see him fumble around with white spots in front his eyes... it really is blinding!

He came in early to tackle the mess in his office... I should start by letting you know that Mr. PP is a hoarder of anything that moves and doesn't move! This is not a task that is going to be completed in the hour he has allowed, I am guessing if he shows up an hour early everyday to tidy it, it may take at least 50 days and that is just office #1... he has 2!

Tuesday have become Sub-Tuesday for Me and B... this week was different, she had a lunch meeting which left me minus lunch!

I ate a late breakfast of a Banana and Frosties.... and by 1.30pm I couldn't take it anymore... the only option for a weight watcher was OATMEAL for lunch.

I went to the pantry, grabbed a packet of oatmeal, and a bowl provided for the guest for just this. Emptied the package,added water and placed it in the microwave for 1 minute.

Easy you say.... well not for me today...

That bloody oatmeal spewed everywhere... I opened the microwave to a rolled up bowl... resembling a taco stuffed with oozing oatmeal. The bowl was rock hard and the oatmeal pretty much everywhere, but no longer in the bowl.

It took me 10 mins to clean up the sodding mess.... which then led to the phone ringing, which left me to leave with no lunch...

Those of you that know me... know that does not make for a happy girl.

The newly purchased luggage cart went for an outing to Rm 103, the car park and back... he looked so happy to have been moved from the lobby for a short while.

Rm 103 could not understand why his key card never worked... I had to replace them 3 times this morning... I asked repeatedly are you keeping them with your cell phone... magnets anything that is zapping them, because this is very unusual....

NOPE, nothing....

Well, when they left, they chuckled about the key experience... I will be coming back soon to see how many other locks they can break. At this point I discovered he was keeping it in his money clip.

Surprise... it has a whooping big magnet in it to keep it closed!

Case closed !!!

Boobies... (o)(o)

I was only talking to my good friend Sue last night about the topic of this blog... though nothing had really happened in the hotel that could make it interesting and I didn't really know where to begin.

Well today it seems I get my chance to cover this topic... my eyes are still burning so I have to share it with you.

I am at the fax machine therefore not at the Front Desk, I can see it if I look up and turn my head to the right. I hear a tap and do just that.

It was a sight that no-one, no man, women or beast should have to endure. It is still so vivid in my mind.

This sight was an older gentleman, in the age bracket of 60 +, he was shorter than average and over weight...AKA DUMPY. Imagine the long grey chest hair over the large round belly and the 2 biggest boobs hanging so low they almost came to rest on my counter!

What.. you can't imagine and need a visual.... well here you go. This is what I saw.

Now if you have known me since Kingdown, yes my Art has not improved ! Pic quality not really that good, but I hope you can suffer too!

So as I said my eyes were burnt, I could barley see the key card he was waving at me... which I hasten to add verified and should have been working perfectly!

What on earth makes this man think that it is OK to do this? To walk around a public place with his Man Boobs on display for all to try and NOT see?

The vision just would not go away and I have been overwriting it in my head and pondering....

If he had been late 30's, dark, average height and handsome with abs of steal, solid pecks, bulging biceps and a smile to make your insides flutter I would not have thought.. Why do you think it is perfectly ok to stand there like that?, but blushed and dropped the room key !

But that is the visual I am using to clear this nasty eye scarring, and one day hope to be that lucky!

So MAN BOOBS.. BIG HANG LOW  NO GO SHOW. SOLID AS A ROCK.. PLEASE STOP BY!

This also applies to the ladies too. It seems I am the only lady who knows they sell a thing called a strapless bra.

Believe it or not, they are a great asset to your strappy sun dress or tank top because.. yep NO straps, and perfectly placed boobies.

Anyone who knows me knows that I am not a small girl. Never in my life have I ever thought it 'OK'  to leave the house bra less... even with a built in shelf my strapless is coming with me.

Everyone needs to know that you can only use the shelf solo if you have small hard lumps in place of your breasts.

So all of you women that sit in my breakfast room or come to the front desk minus a bra, with your tits as far down as your belly button... I am telling you it is WRONG... just WRONG. Please love your breasts and have them in the perfect position every time you are in public,.. especially at my work place.

I have in  he past raise a lot of money for Breast Cancer, my mother is a survivor and remind you all to check your boobies regularly.... preferably before you put them in their rightful place!

Happenings...

I have been slack on my blogs, its just I have been so busy with my life... I hate to miss a week so this is it. I hope it isn't too long winded for you all.

Today I got a very strange call...

" I would like to make a Reservation.. but 1st. Can you tell me how old your Mattresses are?"

Unfortunately I had no flipping clue... so just replied.

"No I don't but if you like a firmer mattress over a soft then this is a special request we can try to accommodate"

I am pleased to announce I now know the answer and am better prepared for the next time I get asked the question. The correct answer is....

"Less than 5 years"

~

Did I tell you about Ganja boy ?

He has been residing in #124 and 126 over the past 2 weeks. 

He checks in very early in the morning.... smokes and fills the halls with the smell of weed all morning long... and then stays another night.

Sometimes I worry that Housekeeping are going to get the effects of 2nd hand smoke and I am going to get left out!

The other day he came down to the front desk to extend his stay and he couldn't get back in the room. Seems he had left his room via the sliding door... forgot this and tried to get back in the locked door.

This same night he acquired the munchies.... and I guess the only option for him was the vending machine by Door B. This vending machine is not owned or operated by the hotel, and outside company comes every week to restock it. Seems in Ganja boys munchie attack he purchased a Hostess cake from the vending machine...in the mad rush to cram it into his mouth he missed the mold... until the last bite. 

He bought what was left to L, who could only offer him a refund and pass on the details to the vending company..he did not want to part with the moldy bite that was left.. and seemed upset he may get sick from eating the mold!

He is harmless enough... I have given him a lesson on how to access your room with a key, so he should be good this week if he shows up.

~

It was a weekend for a visit from a regular drunk.... I pity housekeeping. If you are going to binge drink please where a depend when you sleep!

~

I am bracing myself for the Naked Weekend...