Thursday, April 4, 2013

Wanna be Rock Star

Breakfast had finished 30 mins ago and this disheveled man exclaims "WHAT they took away breakfast already!"

They, being me and yep I closed it at 9:30am on the dot as per notice clearly stating that breakfast was 6-9:30am but have a cup of coffee and get over it you lazy sod briefly entered my head but the words "Yes, 30 minutes ago. Would you like some coffee?" came out of my mouth.

He fumbled with the coffee pot, asked for 16 toothbrushes trying to imply he had 15 woman in his queen sized bed and needed toothpaste and Deodorant. Oh we have a comedian and I nearly didn't notice.


Phone rings and I answer it, as you do when your on the clock.

I hear him talking as I am making a reservation with the polite man on the phone and realise he is mumbling to me.  I can't talk to two people at once politely so I carried on with the reservation as if he was not there.
I put the phone down and I am just about to start another one of my duties and he shouts...

'Your from the UK" ..... Bloody hell, Einstein has entered the building!

"All my best friends are English Rockers" is his next proclamation. LOL in my head and think "Oh great, what is he on!"

I busy myself, he goes off with his toothbrush, paste and underarm.

and hour passes and in he strolls to check out.

Oh dear the Comedic Einstein has developed a pretty lousy British accent and I'd like the floor to open up and take me away.

"Do you know the Beat - tels?"

Oh god, this is like the "Do you know John, he lives in Manchester?" kind of situation! The UK might be small but I know a few Johns and they all don't live in Manchester.

"The Beatles, I like their Music but I don't know them, no" and really who has not heard of the Beatles.

"I do, Do you know Pink Floyd"

Once again, Not personally

"How about Boy George?" still in his bad accent.

Boy George a Rock Star?!... I obviously don't burst want his bubble and nod politely.

"David Bowie? I know him too"

I nearly said... "Well, why the Fuck are you here dude?"

but, I just carried on with the check out and in his Brit accents yells " Bye Gorgeous, be back later"

OH DEAR PLEASE NO....