Friday, July 23, 2010

A week in July.....

It has been a busy and entertaining week and the hotel motel... NOT Holiday Inn.

This week saw the arrival of Mrs B.. #129.  Mrs B is at least 80 years old... Deaf as a post but a sweet ole dear.

Breakfast ends at 10am... she arrives every morning at 9.55am. She has been staying with us annually for what I can tell is longer than I have been alive! This means she feels right at home and treats it as such.

The beginning of the week when she arrived the room was pretty much eaten and drunk dry. She has kept me on my toes... making sure she has enough decaf when she arrives and milk too.

Wednesday Mrs B called the Front  Desk and yelled down the phone as deaf people often do...

" CAN YOU LISTEN TO MY MESSAGES"

I replied telling her that to do this I would need to come to her room and retrieve them for her. After yelling loud enough the entire hotel could hear me without the need of a telephone... she got the message that I would come down at the end of my shift. This I did... 8 messages later I wrote them all down for her. She has a very busy social life for an 80 year old. I was quite jealous!

The following morning I say Good Morning as she is sitting eating her Cheerios.... no reply.

I am still pottering about cleaning up, and yep you guessed it, it is past 10.15 and breakfast is over.... still no communication. Eventually I get her attention by a little wave and she informs me in a very loud voice...

I TURNED MY HEARING AID OFF COS THE TELEVISION AND THE OTHER PEOPLE ARE TOO LOUD.. and by the way your handwriting is lovely!

I had to chuckle...

One morning this week and I cannot remember which exactly I arrive and a Big tour bus is parked out front... Now Santana was playing at the local arts centre the night before and for a minute I thought he needed emergency accommodation! Lots of people sat in the sunny breakfast room speculating who was staying... some had the same thought as me and wanted to know where Santana was eating breakfast. Turns out the bus was a group of surfer dudes touring catching waves up the east coast... Nice kind a lifestyle if you can get it!

I had a very funny telephone conversation today in which I was asked... "What is there to do in your town?" My immediate reply was... "Depends what your into" I established that they were travelling with children... so other than the beach... I gave them...

Outback Steakhouse to eat
Kohls to shop
Mini Golf
Bowling
Movies
Our pool.... I mean what else do you need on vacation!

Another call from another hard of hearing guest wishing to book his stay... Mr M, after yelling and me and finalizing his reservation I must be sure to let Mr PP know of his arrival... I did... but Mr M called back 10 mins to remind me again and also could I call the rewards program and let them know of his intended stay.. Sure thing Mr M.. I am right on it! He let me know that there was a really nice lady at the front desk when he visited last year... I reassured him that she had been replaced with another lovely lady and he trip will be wonderful :-)

We have another family join us through the Red Cross, this lucky family and 5 children survived a blazing home which was struck by lightening. They are a very sweet and lovely family and they are appreciating life and reminding me not to sweat the small stuff as I search for a room for them Saturday night in our already full house...

Lets hope the weekend staff enjoy their job as much as I do... its going to be a busy one with 2 weddings and a memorial group in house. I am sure by the time Monday arrives Mr PP is going to be completely stressed out and start my day off just great... Bring it on, I intend to relax all weekend long !

Sunday, July 18, 2010

Whatever takes your fancy!

I have been made aware that in August there is a group coming to stay called the Hedo Reunion.

Basically they hire the conference room... have a big party and people part of their group call and make reservations for sleeping rooms for as many nights as they would like to stay.

It seems that this week we had a guest staying for the week who already has reservations as part of this group.... and has told other guests about how wonderful this party is.

Hedo = Hedonism = Nakedness... Swingers... Orgy... or just simply a low key party attended by people who like pleasure.

What am I in for?

I have started to hear talk... I think it will involve Swingers... and Nakedness and as we all know, when people are a part of a group like this... just like the people that go the the Nudest beach.... they are not supposed to be seen NAKED.

I am not sure I am going to make it through these 4 days without laughing OUT LOUD a lot.

I have a few weeks to prepare of this event, I think I am going to need it.

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Me, B and Mr PP!

That is Tuesday's.

Me, Thee and He !

Some are good and some are bad.

Tuesdays has also developed into $5 Sub day too... This is not good for the Weight Watcher in me, but delicious all the same. Some weeks I eat my half, others I share my half with E. Today she had already had a nice healthy lunch of Oatmeal Cookies so I scoffed the lot, that Turkey sure tasted yummy.

Networking meeting was at breakfast time, they are rude some days and nice the others. Today there was only one nice one about. Mr A, the Limo Man! Maybe they are not morning people and this is why they are cranky. They come every week...and they are a little too comfortable now. Like today, they stroll in to the breakfast room and take for their use 4 chairs. This leaves 2 tables, chairless...WTF?! are they paying guest supposed to kneel and eat their breakfast?

Within 30 mins a entire football team from a high school appear for breakfast and I am 4 chairs short of a diner!

To the closet I go... I was so thankful E had decided to show up for work at 8am otherwise I would have been even more pee'd off than I already was.

4 chairs later and everyone has a seat.. approximately 30 muffins were consumed and a lot of bagels. They were very well behaved boys, polite too... the coach really had them under control.

The phone rang non stop... I munched in between calls. This is a talent I have developed... who would have guessed!

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Cold Shower anyone?

Not likely this morning if you were in the King section. Once again the Kings only had HOT water.

Yes you read right the cold water is Hot, the Toilet water is even HOT.

I did tell my friend, you know the one that only I can see, to please stop goofing around and go and fix it. There is no other explanation other than them playing tricks for attention.

I wanted to see how long it took them to sort this mess out, and sure enough by 10am when Mr PP instructed me to see if I would take a shower in 160 the water was lovely and cold if the tap was turned just slightly!

I thanked my mischievous spirits for correcting it. Mr PP just said " See nothing wrong now, it comes and goes and there is nothing I can do. It corrects itself"

Oh please my theory is far more likely.. Hot water in the toilets can only be the work of mischiefs.

A few hours later.....


BANG BANG BANG.... Bang Bang.... Rattle Rattle...


WTF!


There is a man outside banging on the glass window trying to get in, he thinks I am locking him out !

Now the sliding glass door is 3 ft to the left, but he is still frantically banging.

Now I am Laughing. NOT out loud... but in my belly !

He enters eventually and asks " Where is Dr Kelley's office?"

WHAT?! Now I am google maps as well as tourist information...I have no idea and he asked for a phone book.

I could tell this wasn't going to go well as he starts looking for Physician under "D".

I couldn't stand the pain as he is spelling Physician out loud PHS PHY... but still in the "D" section.

I offer to find the name for him. After 5 mins and every section of Dr's and the business section the only Dr Kelley I can find is a Chiropractor. (Not as good as mine I am sure!)

He proclaims his Dr Kelley is an Ortho and he is due to have surgery tomorrow and is already an hour late for his appointment.

Now, some clever person decides to call Directories to locate this Dr K.... Seems that she is part of a practice under another Dr's Name in the town over...He locates the name of the practice in the Yellow Pages and asks me to call them...

" Why do you want me to call them?"

" So they can tell you their address"

The address was in the phone book under the telephone number...

OH BOY !

I order him a cab, and he asks if he can leave his bike in the lobby... it cost $1500 so please do no take your eyes off it.

He leaves.... Drunk as a Friggin Skunk.

The more I think about it... the more I think he has no idea where his bike is now and maybe, just maybe it was borrowed!





Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Temperatures are rising.....

We are hitting some record temps here, this seems to make some people cranky...

One young woman, I guess you could call her that. She was female under 25 years old, over 200lbs in a mini skirt with red hair with the bark of a Rotti.

During her breakfast she bolted out of the Sun filled too to launch a Cheese Danish over the counter at me claiming it was crawling with bigs.

My 1st reaction was "Love. You should be eating Yoghurt and Fruit!"

I saw NO bugs. just flakes of Cinnamon, she claimed "You are lucky I never bit it, otherwise I would be suing I". What for I am not sure! These prepackaged breakfast items are sealed in plastic... nothing can get in.

Anyway off they went.

I called Mr PP to let me know of the drama caused.

Within 10 mins of leaving she was on the telephone demanding to speak to my boss. He spoke to her...

30 mins later the official complaint.

I hate those that need to find an excuse for a reduced rate.

I should mention that 2-3 weeks ago this family were here and as I was relaxing in the pool this "GIRL" wanted to put her dog in it..She kept exclaiming... "NO-ONE will KNOW"!

Trashy People are not welcome, GOODBYE !

Thursday, July 1, 2010

Numpties and Erectors...

Today my day was full of Numpties and the return of the Erectors !

For all of you who do not know what a Numpty is I will explain....



Numpty
Scottish usage: a) Someone who (sometimes unwittingly) by speech or action demonstrates a lack of knowledge or misconception of a particular subject or situation to the amusement of others. b) A good humoured admonition, a term of endearment c) A reckless, absent minded or unwise person




If you want to know about the Erectors... well that leaves a lot to the imagination !

The phone has not stopped ringing today with Numpties wanting a room on Saturday... We have been fully booked for weeks now what with it being a holiday weekend and all the special events taking place around us, and then in amongst all this the Hotel Magazine want you to fill out a survey, or someone calls for someone that doesn't work here, but.. insists Susan really does work there and that I must be mistaken because she handles all the banquets! Well that means you want to speak to the lovely B, hold on!

Yesterday B took a call from a company working locally on a new convenience store... seems they needed somewhere to stay last night... The company name was Eagle Erectors and 6 erectors were coming to stay... in a childish manner we sniggered.

Well they checked out this morning and I never got to see the Erectors... but just received an important text informing me the Erectors Returned... Still called for a Childish snigger !

Then there was Rm#161... nice enough older gentleman who drives a tour bus. Had to be well into his 50's but you know, thought I was a nice young lady! As I was clearing out the breakfast room he was making  small talk and if I was not mistaken starring at my legs...he was saying how he came down looking for me to go for a drink or something... I switched off.

Every woman, married or single gets a boost when someone looks at them or pays them a compliment... but how is it so far it is only old cronies that pay them to me.

Still waiting for a Bronzed Adonis to make eyes at me!

After my day of numpties I was fortunate enough to have an appointment with a Medical Professional who relaxes me with his great work. I am happy to report he resembles the Adonis more than the Numpties!