Merry Christmas and Happy New Year !

The Holiday arrived... I barely finished my shopping and now it is over and I am back to work.

Familiar families arrived for the holidays. It was nice to see the friendly faces arrive to celebrate.

I was fortunate to have the weekend off with my family as I do every week. But they the storm arrived.

Yesterday, Dec 26th. Boxing Day the storm started.

At 10am the kids were so happy.... by 2pm we went to friends for chilli.... and at 5.30 we headed home in White Out Conditions.

I had to be at work at 6.45am Monday morning and we were forecast 2 ft of snow. As all of you know I am really not a morning person. It takes every ounce of my being to be at work at 6.45am after jumping slowly from my bed at 6.10am. If we did indeed get 2ft of snow... How the hell was I going to get there on time? I can't possibly shovel snow before 9am!

Well working at a hotel... meant a bed for the night. I packed my overnight bag and prepared for my night away from home.

I drive 2 miles to work... and it was complete hell driving here. White out conditions... stuck cars, trucks, jug handles full of snow. I was thinking how smart I was to leave the night before.

At 6 am when I awake... I am feeling even smarter. My commute is the elevator, I can't possibly be late! I have never seen snow like it in my life.. the snow has drifted up the doors 4 ft. Cars are completely covered in snow...they reported we had 28 inches of snow.

I spent the day watching as others changed there plans... people stranded here that live just a few miles away. I was due to leave at 12 noon. T got snowed in... so now I am here until 3pm. It really will be cleared by then.

It is 8:21pm and after watching lorries, cars, vans skidding all over the highway. People arriving crying, the roads are so bad. I am still at the hotel.

My street has not been plowed... so even if I could safely make it out on to the highway... I couldn't get in my street or driveway... to turn back at 6.30 to leave again. I choose the safest way!

I guess this is why they declared a State of Emergency... but why don't people listen and not travel.

A small car ran off the highway and got stuck in the entrance to the hotel... they were not staying here, just passing by. We had to push them out... this was not the first. The men here have been pushing cars all day long. These people are travelling with small children.... surely nothing is THAT important?!

Let's hope tomorrow that the highway is still not the blanket of compact ice it is right  now and that my street has been plowed... otherwise I will be here a 3rd night.

Stay safe!

The height of laziness?

As I answer the telephone the caller asks  " Are you located at 3 Crowne Plaza?"

"No" we are located at .....

" Can you tell me the rate please?"

" I can tell you the rate for our hotel, yes"

" No, I want the rate the hotel at 3 Crowne Plaza, I am sitting in their car park, so why would I want your rates?!"

"Well, Get out of your car and go in and ask them you lazy bitch" is NOT what I said...

" Maybe if you call the 800 number they will be able to help you " IS what I said.

This prompted me to think about just how lazy we are becoming.

We can drive through to get our food and coffee, drop off and pick up prescriptions, even deposit at the bank.

Now you want Drive through Hotels!

I have to admit I very rarely use a drive through. Whilst I am physically able, why not walk?!

If nothing else my heart will stay healthy.

A Day off with the Chiropractor

As you are aware it is my day off...

Sods law prevails and I am still suffering with a cold and really have no energy for what I wanted to do, that my friends was tackling my Christmas Shopping.

However, my first stop was the Chiropractor my favourite place in the world. Well 2nd after my bed!

When I arrived at 10am my concerned Chiro asked me if I was going to be all right face down with my head cold. Of course I was going to be alright, I could not miss my adjustment for a mere cold.

" Grab a handful of tissues and get your head down there" was what he said.

OMG I must be been ill...

I simply grabbed the tissues and giggled inside as he left the room.

I had missed my chance of completely embarrassing him!

I wanted to say so many things... but the moment had gone when witty remarks came flooding into my head,  I am little slow today!

3 day week and its only Tuesday!

My work week started on Sunday this week. I covered the Sunday shift so that R could go to the city and see a show... in return I get Wednesday off.

This sounded great when she called me Thursday to ask me of this favour.  I planned to do my Christmas shopping on my new day off to avoid the crazy weekend shoppers.

Sunday came and I had a cold, I went to work at 6.45am and snuffled through my day. It made a nice change to see the weekend folk, they are somewhat different to the weekly guests. They arrive later for breakfast and are on slow mode! It was a nice change.

It was Harry Potter day on one of the TV channels so I watched that all day and got out my knitting.

The perfect day some would say.

Monday came and I felt worse, my nose is dripping constantly and I had a thick head.

Today came and  I didn't think it possible to feel any worse than I did yesterday.. but guess what I do and to top it all off my body thinks its Wednesday because I have been to work for 3 days.

I am discombobulated, my head is hurting, my nose is running and its not Wednesday and I CANNOT call out sick.

I drag my sorry self to work... and I feel so bad for anyone who has had to come into contact with me today. I felt extremely sorry for the guests in 164 and 166 who arrived to check in at the same time, right when my body wanted to sneeze a million times and I could not stop. Tissues everywhere, I was so embarrassed and I just wanted the floor to open up and swallow me in.

This is when I was reminded about my inevitable death by Neti Pot,  right now that seemed a better place to be.

Last night a friend of mine foretold the tale of how I suffered a terrible death in my very own bathroom by drowning in saline solution from my Neti Pot. It was told very well... and for this laugh I am truly grateful, but not at that moment.  After my sneezing fit was over, I laughed, coughed, choked and apologized for even being there.

They both wished me well and hoped I would feel better soon. I informed them it would be safe to visit the Front Desk as I would not be in tomorrow!

December has arrived... Happy Hanukkah

December 1st... Christmas tree is up and still standing !

I decorated it yesterday and went to bed praying that it was all still in place when I got to work this morning. Visions of balls all over the breakfast room filled my head as I went to bed. I did not secure a lot of the ornaments, just placed them gently to enable those who wish to move things an easy time without disturbing the entire tree.

The 9ft tree still stands.... the reindeer however have been drinking are have taken a tumble amongst the cabbages.

The weather was very bad today... it was dark and windy with heavy rain. B was on Thunderstorm watch, she loves a good storm. I was talking to E about cancelling next weeks milk delivery and B piped up "What the Thunderstorm is cancelled?" Oh if only I had that kind of power!

Barb is our resident Meteorologist, she keeps us well informed when bad weather is on the way! I must remember where I put my "How to survive a Hurricane" paper she gave me.

J left for the day, as she departed asked if I had an umbrella. Any good English Lady should carry one I know, but I do not. We did however manage to find one... It belonged to Victor, but if J got to her car she could drive by the door and I could grab it through the window return it to Victor and off she could go. This sounded great... until B pointed out she would blow away. Yes, attempt Number One... Unsuccessful. Umbrella turned inside out and J blew through the Carport. Attempt Number Two was to wear bin bag on head to prevent the wind and rain messing up her hair. After putting an air hole for safety purposes (we didn't want her suffocating), she started out the door. Alas, attempt number Two failed as the wind blew that bag off her head! She made a mad dash for her car as me and B stood in the foyer giggling like a pair 10 year olds!

We have an array of guests with us ranging from long tern residents, business travelers, to people hiding from family, people laying to rest  loved ones and others homeless due to fires. This really brings home to me that my troubles are pretty insignificant.

Today sees the first day of Hanukkah so I plugged in the Menorah.


Happy Hanukkah...

Goodbye November....

I am guessing that just like me, you are all thankful for something. Just like most of us, as Christmas approaches one of those things is my job and bi-weekly pay check!

The hotel has been filled with guests visiting family for the holidays and also business travelers.

Today, we have 5 Norwegian guests. They were quiet whilst hanging around waiting for each other to arrive at the lobby  before they set off for their business meeting. Almost immediately I noticed that the 50 something male group leader still had the sticky clear adhesive foot long sticker stuck to the back of his new jeans. I couldn't quite make out the size, sorry!

I tried to discreetly inform the guest of his Jeans addition... The phone rang and I had to nab that,  he dashed outside to start his engine in order to defrost his windscreen. Basically I never got to tell him... and I don't think any of the people he was with told him either. I wonder how much of the day went by before someone did?

So just a few days after Thanksgiving... Christmas has arrived in a body bag !

Yes Mr Bill and Victor came down with a body bag... and out of the big body bag came the very enormous tree.

Miss B was busy Fluffing it up... yes you read correctly. She was "FLUFFING"

I felt that I should help, no girl should have to fluff alone.

I am sure tomorrow when I get in that the next step of decorating will need to be done. I am hoping that it has been completed... I am not sure I am up for such a task!

I am a Front Desk Clerk...

I have advanced degrees in accounting, public relations, marketing, computer science, civil engineering and Swahili. I can also Read Minds.

Of course, I have a reservation that you booked six years ago, even though you don't have a confirmation number and you think it was under the name that starts with the letter X. It is not a problem for me to give you seven connecting, nonsmoking, pool side suites with two king beds each, four Rollaways and YES, I can install a wet bar. I know it is my fault that we do not have a helicopter landing pad.

I am a front desk clerk. I am expected to speak all languages. It is obvious to me that when you booked your reservation for Friday, you really meant Saturday. My company has entrusted me with all financial information and decisions and Yes, I can tell you why your bill from March 1989 contained a 50 cent phone charge because you obviously never pay for phone charges.

I understand that Mr. McGullicutty's Widget Manufacturing is a vast empire that will make or break our Hotel. Yes, I am lying to you when I tell you we have no rooms available. It is not a problem for me to quickly construct several more guest rooms. This time I will not forget the heli-pad. It is my fault that everyone wants to stay here. I should have known you were coming in even though you have no reservation.

I am a front desk clerk: an operator, bell hop, breakfast hostess, houseman, guest services rep, housekeeper, sales coordinator, information, a map, entertainment critic, restaurateur, stock broker, computer technician, ice breaker, postman, dispatcher, laundry attendant, fax expert and verbal punching bag. I also know why room 239 isn't answering their telephone.

I always know where to find the best Vegetarian, Kosher, Mongolian Barbeque Restaurants. I know exactly what to see and do in this town without spending any money.I take personal blame for the airline food (or lack thereof), traffic jams, rental car flat tires, and the national economy. I realize that you meant to book your reservations here. People often confuse us with "Melody Delight Motel". Of course, I can fit you in and yes, I understand you are entitled to a special fifty cent discount because you are affiliated with the Hoboken Accounting Club.

I am expected to smile, sympathize, console, up sell, down sell (and know when to do which), perform, sing, dance, fix the printer and I know exactly where Pottsman Trott Lane is.

I am a Front Desk Clerk.

I do all of these things...

.... and I still have to try and look busy when the Management is around.

Its Been a while....

Summer past in the blink of an eye. I cannot believe how quickly it went.

It was a tough Summer for me being the first one I have worked in 15 years, but boy was it interesting!

Not too many funny stories for you as I was so busy with just day to day hotel life. People vacationing are completely different to the people we have staying during the OFF season.

The vacationers and a little more demanding and always later for breakfast.

We do have our residents that are still with us Rm # 159. I am not sure what the story is as it just is simply too unbelievable now, and I really do not wish to know what they are doing to pay for the room as it can only be bad.

We have a new regular guest Mr C, nice chap not sure why he ended up staying with us on and off for the past 4 weeks, but he is pleasant, causes no bother and is the last to breakfast at 9.35am!

We did install a lot of Flat Screen TV's since my last blog... this went smoothly and now our King section and rooms with 2 Queen beds have this nice upgrade.

Last week Panasonic delivered the 36 extra remotes that Mr PP ordered. These 36 Remotes arrived in 36 boxes..... Why I have no idea but they charged us $189.00 Delivery!

As you can imagine Mr.PP was outraged by the delivery charged he was slapped with whilst B and myself worried about the amount of trees killed to make the 35 extra boxes!

B and I Joined a local Gym... L too.

We have been very good and try to go every day. As a Weight Watcher you would think that this would be helping me... alas NO. I am watching the scales go up and not down and my body ache more and more.

Sunday at 9.30 I arrived at the gym for Body Pump... B surely was going to show up. NO! As I peeked in the studio, thinking to myself "this is when you turn and get on the Elliptical" another lady forced me in with her smile saying she would help me set up... It was the set up that scared me!

One Bar Bell with weights plus extras
One Step with 3 risers
One Mat
Two 5lb plus hand weights
Towel

I sucked it up and pumped the power for an hour, and after 30 mins of the instructor yelling at me to stick my backside out... I seemed to have good form!

Today I ache in places I should not be aching... My poor chest, triceps, Backs of the legs and my butt!

Well as we all know there is only on cure.... another session at the gym!

See you there B, don't let me down, I may get dragged in to some other Bad Ass Class!

BTW this would all be well and good if I was at my goal weight and was svelte like.

Mysteries....

Today was Sandwich Tuesday - YIPPE !

I am happy to report that the WW in me shared my half of the sub with E, this always turns the puss face in to a happy bunny!

We have had a bit of a dilema...well more of an ID crisis! 'Ganja Boy' checked out with T on Friday, NO long hair... was here over the weekend with long hair.... is it fake?

I can resolve the issue, I was running errands yesterday and low and behold in the grocery store I spy 'Ganja Boy' with a friend. I hide as I don't want to be spied in civilian clothing by guests!

I think his friend with no hair has been staying with him, and checking out for him and confusing us. I can report that 'Ganja Boy' still has long hair !

Today I answered the phone as was asked where were we located... I confirmed our location and the gentleman on the phone told me that he had a delivery for me, he doesn't usually deliver in my town, but there were on the way!

As I was checking out a group of guests a pizza delivery boy passes through the lobby.

Short while later the telephone rings... Mr PP answers it.

I hear him discussing Room numbers... and he is saying there is no one in that room... we don't have a room of that number... I am not sure." Send your delivery boy to the front desk"

A minute later, the pizza boy is standing in front of us, telling us he has a delivery for Rm # 524.

We inform him that we do not have a Room 524.. he did not have a guest name. He informed us he has never had to deliver to this town before and that he is from another town close by. We discuss that there is another Hotel of our chain in that town... and could he possibly be at the wrong hotel. He said he had delivered to that hotel before and it could be possible....

Off he goes....

20 mins go by and a guest comes down... as he is passing the Front desk he stops and say's " I ordered food and it might arrive as I nip out. If I leave you some money can you pay for it please?" Sure not a problem.

As he is exiting the hotel... I look at Mr PP as say... "OMG that was his Pizza, he is in room 254!" He dashes out to the Car Park to check with the guest where he ordered from and what he ordered... sure enough I was correct.

As we are laughing out loud the telephone rings.. it is the pizza restaurant. " Has anyone been down looking for food?"

Yes they have, can you please confirm the order... he huffed and puffed and insisted they don;t deliver to our town... but they were heading back as they had no luck at the other town!

The Guest comes in from running his errand, and I explain what is happening, that is food is heading back to him, for the 2nd time. As we finish our conversation and he is heading up to his room, the delivery boy arrives back.

Can you believe that the Delivery Boy blamed me?! It was all my fault for not suggesting he go to 254??

I did tell him that if anyone is to blame it is the pizza place for not asking for a name and telephone number, and for taking down the room number incorrectly!

I have never been able to order food without leaving my Name and Number?!

I think that was the longest pizza delivery ever, and it had to have been cold for sure.

One last thing I have to mention.. and then I am done.

When taking a reservation today I asked... "What type of room would you like?

She spouted off..."The most Allergen Free, quiet room... Not above the Kitchen, Not near the Ice Machine, Not Near the lift, not near the door. As for size of room... the cheapest!" I then get to method of payment.... I am reserving it with my MasterCard because the expiration date on my American Express is expiring before I arrive, but I require you to remind me at check in that I want to pay using my AMEX. I might forget ! ! ! !

Gosh I must make a note of that one !

Just a regular Tuesday !

Nothing too exciting to report this past week....

No sign of Ganja boy since my last blog.

Every Tuesday host a Networking Meeting in our conference room, and today was no different. They start early... networking at 7-9.

I was startled by the arrival of Mr.PP at 7.15 this morning... he tried to sneak up on me, but I sensed he was there. I thought for a moment he was here to check up on me... making sure I was attending to the Breakfast room as I should... I really should have made him sit in my chair for a while so he could benefit from the blinding sun, and  I could see him fumble around with white spots in front his eyes... it really is blinding!

He came in early to tackle the mess in his office... I should start by letting you know that Mr. PP is a hoarder of anything that moves and doesn't move! This is not a task that is going to be completed in the hour he has allowed, I am guessing if he shows up an hour early everyday to tidy it, it may take at least 50 days and that is just office #1... he has 2!

Tuesday have become Sub-Tuesday for Me and B... this week was different, she had a lunch meeting which left me minus lunch!

I ate a late breakfast of a Banana and Frosties.... and by 1.30pm I couldn't take it anymore... the only option for a weight watcher was OATMEAL for lunch.

I went to the pantry, grabbed a packet of oatmeal, and a bowl provided for the guest for just this. Emptied the package,added water and placed it in the microwave for 1 minute.

Easy you say.... well not for me today...

That bloody oatmeal spewed everywhere... I opened the microwave to a rolled up bowl... resembling a taco stuffed with oozing oatmeal. The bowl was rock hard and the oatmeal pretty much everywhere, but no longer in the bowl.

It took me 10 mins to clean up the sodding mess.... which then led to the phone ringing, which left me to leave with no lunch...

Those of you that know me... know that does not make for a happy girl.

The newly purchased luggage cart went for an outing to Rm 103, the car park and back... he looked so happy to have been moved from the lobby for a short while.

Rm 103 could not understand why his key card never worked... I had to replace them 3 times this morning... I asked repeatedly are you keeping them with your cell phone... magnets anything that is zapping them, because this is very unusual....

NOPE, nothing....

Well, when they left, they chuckled about the key experience... I will be coming back soon to see how many other locks they can break. At this point I discovered he was keeping it in his money clip.

Surprise... it has a whooping big magnet in it to keep it closed!

Case closed !!!

Boobies... (o)(o)

I was only talking to my good friend Sue last night about the topic of this blog... though nothing had really happened in the hotel that could make it interesting and I didn't really know where to begin.

Well today it seems I get my chance to cover this topic... my eyes are still burning so I have to share it with you.

I am at the fax machine therefore not at the Front Desk, I can see it if I look up and turn my head to the right. I hear a tap and do just that.

It was a sight that no-one, no man, women or beast should have to endure. It is still so vivid in my mind.

This sight was an older gentleman, in the age bracket of 60 +, he was shorter than average and over weight...AKA DUMPY. Imagine the long grey chest hair over the large round belly and the 2 biggest boobs hanging so low they almost came to rest on my counter!

What.. you can't imagine and need a visual.... well here you go. This is what I saw.

Now if you have known me since Kingdown, yes my Art has not improved ! Pic quality not really that good, but I hope you can suffer too!

So as I said my eyes were burnt, I could barley see the key card he was waving at me... which I hasten to add verified and should have been working perfectly!

What on earth makes this man think that it is OK to do this? To walk around a public place with his Man Boobs on display for all to try and NOT see?

The vision just would not go away and I have been overwriting it in my head and pondering....

If he had been late 30's, dark, average height and handsome with abs of steal, solid pecks, bulging biceps and a smile to make your insides flutter I would not have thought.. Why do you think it is perfectly ok to stand there like that?, but blushed and dropped the room key !

But that is the visual I am using to clear this nasty eye scarring, and one day hope to be that lucky!

So MAN BOOBS.. BIG HANG LOW  NO GO SHOW. SOLID AS A ROCK.. PLEASE STOP BY!

This also applies to the ladies too. It seems I am the only lady who knows they sell a thing called a strapless bra.

Believe it or not, they are a great asset to your strappy sun dress or tank top because.. yep NO straps, and perfectly placed boobies.

Anyone who knows me knows that I am not a small girl. Never in my life have I ever thought it 'OK'  to leave the house bra less... even with a built in shelf my strapless is coming with me.

Everyone needs to know that you can only use the shelf solo if you have small hard lumps in place of your breasts.

So all of you women that sit in my breakfast room or come to the front desk minus a bra, with your tits as far down as your belly button... I am telling you it is WRONG... just WRONG. Please love your breasts and have them in the perfect position every time you are in public,.. especially at my work place.

I have in  he past raise a lot of money for Breast Cancer, my mother is a survivor and remind you all to check your boobies regularly.... preferably before you put them in their rightful place!

Happenings...

I have been slack on my blogs, its just I have been so busy with my life... I hate to miss a week so this is it. I hope it isn't too long winded for you all.

Today I got a very strange call...

" I would like to make a Reservation.. but 1st. Can you tell me how old your Mattresses are?"

Unfortunately I had no flipping clue... so just replied.

"No I don't but if you like a firmer mattress over a soft then this is a special request we can try to accommodate"

I am pleased to announce I now know the answer and am better prepared for the next time I get asked the question. The correct answer is....

"Less than 5 years"

~

Did I tell you about Ganja boy ?

He has been residing in #124 and 126 over the past 2 weeks. 

He checks in very early in the morning.... smokes and fills the halls with the smell of weed all morning long... and then stays another night.

Sometimes I worry that Housekeeping are going to get the effects of 2nd hand smoke and I am going to get left out!

The other day he came down to the front desk to extend his stay and he couldn't get back in the room. Seems he had left his room via the sliding door... forgot this and tried to get back in the locked door.

This same night he acquired the munchies.... and I guess the only option for him was the vending machine by Door B. This vending machine is not owned or operated by the hotel, and outside company comes every week to restock it. Seems in Ganja boys munchie attack he purchased a Hostess cake from the vending machine...in the mad rush to cram it into his mouth he missed the mold... until the last bite. 

He bought what was left to L, who could only offer him a refund and pass on the details to the vending company..he did not want to part with the moldy bite that was left.. and seemed upset he may get sick from eating the mold!

He is harmless enough... I have given him a lesson on how to access your room with a key, so he should be good this week if he shows up.

~

It was a weekend for a visit from a regular drunk.... I pity housekeeping. If you are going to binge drink please where a depend when you sleep!

~

I am bracing myself for the Naked Weekend...

A week in July.....

It has been a busy and entertaining week and the hotel motel... NOT Holiday Inn.

This week saw the arrival of Mrs B.. #129.  Mrs B is at least 80 years old... Deaf as a post but a sweet ole dear.

Breakfast ends at 10am... she arrives every morning at 9.55am. She has been staying with us annually for what I can tell is longer than I have been alive! This means she feels right at home and treats it as such.

The beginning of the week when she arrived the room was pretty much eaten and drunk dry. She has kept me on my toes... making sure she has enough decaf when she arrives and milk too.

Wednesday Mrs B called the Front  Desk and yelled down the phone as deaf people often do...

" CAN YOU LISTEN TO MY MESSAGES"

I replied telling her that to do this I would need to come to her room and retrieve them for her. After yelling loud enough the entire hotel could hear me without the need of a telephone... she got the message that I would come down at the end of my shift. This I did... 8 messages later I wrote them all down for her. She has a very busy social life for an 80 year old. I was quite jealous!

The following morning I say Good Morning as she is sitting eating her Cheerios.... no reply.

I am still pottering about cleaning up, and yep you guessed it, it is past 10.15 and breakfast is over.... still no communication. Eventually I get her attention by a little wave and she informs me in a very loud voice...

I TURNED MY HEARING AID OFF COS THE TELEVISION AND THE OTHER PEOPLE ARE TOO LOUD.. and by the way your handwriting is lovely!

I had to chuckle...

One morning this week and I cannot remember which exactly I arrive and a Big tour bus is parked out front... Now Santana was playing at the local arts centre the night before and for a minute I thought he needed emergency accommodation! Lots of people sat in the sunny breakfast room speculating who was staying... some had the same thought as me and wanted to know where Santana was eating breakfast. Turns out the bus was a group of surfer dudes touring catching waves up the east coast... Nice kind a lifestyle if you can get it!

I had a very funny telephone conversation today in which I was asked... "What is there to do in your town?" My immediate reply was... "Depends what your into" I established that they were travelling with children... so other than the beach... I gave them...

Outback Steakhouse to eat
Kohls to shop
Mini Golf
Bowling
Movies
Our pool.... I mean what else do you need on vacation!

Another call from another hard of hearing guest wishing to book his stay... Mr M, after yelling and me and finalizing his reservation I must be sure to let Mr PP know of his arrival... I did... but Mr M called back 10 mins to remind me again and also could I call the rewards program and let them know of his intended stay.. Sure thing Mr M.. I am right on it! He let me know that there was a really nice lady at the front desk when he visited last year... I reassured him that she had been replaced with another lovely lady and he trip will be wonderful :-)

We have another family join us through the Red Cross, this lucky family and 5 children survived a blazing home which was struck by lightening. They are a very sweet and lovely family and they are appreciating life and reminding me not to sweat the small stuff as I search for a room for them Saturday night in our already full house...

Lets hope the weekend staff enjoy their job as much as I do... its going to be a busy one with 2 weddings and a memorial group in house. I am sure by the time Monday arrives Mr PP is going to be completely stressed out and start my day off just great... Bring it on, I intend to relax all weekend long !

Whatever takes your fancy!

I have been made aware that in August there is a group coming to stay called the Hedo Reunion.

Basically they hire the conference room... have a big party and people part of their group call and make reservations for sleeping rooms for as many nights as they would like to stay.

It seems that this week we had a guest staying for the week who already has reservations as part of this group.... and has told other guests about how wonderful this party is.

Hedo = Hedonism = Nakedness... Swingers... Orgy... or just simply a low key party attended by people who like pleasure.

What am I in for?

I have started to hear talk... I think it will involve Swingers... and Nakedness and as we all know, when people are a part of a group like this... just like the people that go the the Nudest beach.... they are not supposed to be seen NAKED.

I am not sure I am going to make it through these 4 days without laughing OUT LOUD a lot.

I have a few weeks to prepare of this event, I think I am going to need it.

Me, B and Mr PP!

That is Tuesday's.

Me, Thee and He !

Some are good and some are bad.

Tuesdays has also developed into $5 Sub day too... This is not good for the Weight Watcher in me, but delicious all the same. Some weeks I eat my half, others I share my half with E. Today she had already had a nice healthy lunch of Oatmeal Cookies so I scoffed the lot, that Turkey sure tasted yummy.

Networking meeting was at breakfast time, they are rude some days and nice the others. Today there was only one nice one about. Mr A, the Limo Man! Maybe they are not morning people and this is why they are cranky. They come every week...and they are a little too comfortable now. Like today, they stroll in to the breakfast room and take for their use 4 chairs. This leaves 2 tables, chairless...WTF?! are they paying guest supposed to kneel and eat their breakfast?

Within 30 mins a entire football team from a high school appear for breakfast and I am 4 chairs short of a diner!

To the closet I go... I was so thankful E had decided to show up for work at 8am otherwise I would have been even more pee'd off than I already was.

4 chairs later and everyone has a seat.. approximately 30 muffins were consumed and a lot of bagels. They were very well behaved boys, polite too... the coach really had them under control.

The phone rang non stop... I munched in between calls. This is a talent I have developed... who would have guessed!

Cold Shower anyone?

Not likely this morning if you were in the King section. Once again the Kings only had HOT water.

Yes you read right the cold water is Hot, the Toilet water is even HOT.

I did tell my friend, you know the one that only I can see, to please stop goofing around and go and fix it. There is no other explanation other than them playing tricks for attention.

I wanted to see how long it took them to sort this mess out, and sure enough by 10am when Mr PP instructed me to see if I would take a shower in 160 the water was lovely and cold if the tap was turned just slightly!

I thanked my mischievous spirits for correcting it. Mr PP just said " See nothing wrong now, it comes and goes and there is nothing I can do. It corrects itself"

Oh please my theory is far more likely.. Hot water in the toilets can only be the work of mischiefs.

A few hours later.....


BANG BANG BANG.... Bang Bang.... Rattle Rattle...


WTF!


There is a man outside banging on the glass window trying to get in, he thinks I am locking him out !

Now the sliding glass door is 3 ft to the left, but he is still frantically banging.

Now I am Laughing. NOT out loud... but in my belly !

He enters eventually and asks " Where is Dr Kelley's office?"

WHAT?! Now I am google maps as well as tourist information...I have no idea and he asked for a phone book.

I could tell this wasn't going to go well as he starts looking for Physician under "D".

I couldn't stand the pain as he is spelling Physician out loud PHS PHY... but still in the "D" section.

I offer to find the name for him. After 5 mins and every section of Dr's and the business section the only Dr Kelley I can find is a Chiropractor. (Not as good as mine I am sure!)

He proclaims his Dr Kelley is an Ortho and he is due to have surgery tomorrow and is already an hour late for his appointment.

Now, some clever person decides to call Directories to locate this Dr K.... Seems that she is part of a practice under another Dr's Name in the town over...He locates the name of the practice in the Yellow Pages and asks me to call them...

" Why do you want me to call them?"

" So they can tell you their address"

The address was in the phone book under the telephone number...

OH BOY !

I order him a cab, and he asks if he can leave his bike in the lobby... it cost $1500 so please do no take your eyes off it.

He leaves.... Drunk as a Friggin Skunk.

The more I think about it... the more I think he has no idea where his bike is now and maybe, just maybe it was borrowed!

Temperatures are rising.....

We are hitting some record temps here, this seems to make some people cranky...

One young woman, I guess you could call her that. She was female under 25 years old, over 200lbs in a mini skirt with red hair with the bark of a Rotti.

During her breakfast she bolted out of the Sun filled too to launch a Cheese Danish over the counter at me claiming it was crawling with bigs.

My 1st reaction was "Love. You should be eating Yoghurt and Fruit!"

I saw NO bugs. just flakes of Cinnamon, she claimed "You are lucky I never bit it, otherwise I would be suing I". What for I am not sure! These prepackaged breakfast items are sealed in plastic... nothing can get in.

Anyway off they went.

I called Mr PP to let me know of the drama caused.

Within 10 mins of leaving she was on the telephone demanding to speak to my boss. He spoke to her...

30 mins later the official complaint.

I hate those that need to find an excuse for a reduced rate.

I should mention that 2-3 weeks ago this family were here and as I was relaxing in the pool this "GIRL" wanted to put her dog in it..She kept exclaiming... "NO-ONE will KNOW"!

Trashy People are not welcome, GOODBYE !

Numpties and Erectors...

Today my day was full of Numpties and the return of the Erectors !

For all of you who do not know what a Numpty is I will explain....

Numpty
	buy numpty mugs, tshirts and magnets Scottish usage: a) Someone who (sometimes unwittingly) by speech or action demonstrates a lack of knowledge or misconception of a particular subject or situation to the amusement of others. b) A good humoured admonition, a term of endearment c) A reckless, absent minded or unwise person

If you want to know about the Erectors... well that leaves a lot to the imagination !

The phone has not stopped ringing today with Numpties wanting a room on Saturday... We have been fully booked for weeks now what with it being a holiday weekend and all the special events taking place around us, and then in amongst all this the Hotel Magazine want you to fill out a survey, or someone calls for someone that doesn't work here, but.. insists Susan really does work there and that I must be mistaken because she handles all the banquets! Well that means you want to speak to the lovely B, hold on!

Yesterday B took a call from a company working locally on a new convenience store... seems they needed somewhere to stay last night... The company name was Eagle Erectors and 6 erectors were coming to stay... in a childish manner we sniggered.

Well they checked out this morning and I never got to see the Erectors... but just received an important text informing me the Erectors Returned... Still called for a Childish snigger !

Then there was Rm#161... nice enough older gentleman who drives a tour bus. Had to be well into his 50's but you know, thought I was a nice young lady! As I was clearing out the breakfast room he was making  small talk and if I was not mistaken starring at my legs...he was saying how he came down looking for me to go for a drink or something... I switched off.

Every woman, married or single gets a boost when someone looks at them or pays them a compliment... but how is it so far it is only old cronies that pay them to me.

Still waiting for a Bronzed Adonis to make eyes at me!

After my day of numpties I was fortunate enough to have an appointment with a Medical Professional who relaxes me with his great work. I am happy to report he resembles the Adonis more than the Numpties!

Kittie's Surprise

Today, being Monday is one of my favourite days.

T and B are in... and seems we order lunch too. We have a new place thanks to L's recommendation. Today I was starving... I still have not recovered from Friday's lack of food.

T ordered and being a weight watcher I insist we share... its always nice when someone else orders for you and your lunch is a surprise. We had a Turkey BLT and it was delicious.

A guest remarked that she thought we had a litter of kittens under the pool shed. I have seen a cat coming and going when I am in the pool... as we all know I like to enjoy this perk!

This played on my mind all day, I am a lover of the animals and had to rescue them and get them to the SPCA. I had not seen the mother in a few days.

Lots of sexcercisers today.... seems that 100 degree weather is a great day to be doing indoor sports. I would like to report that NONE of them made use of the pool facilities.

After a busy morning, Mr PP politley reminded me about the amount of fruit he liked in the breakfast room and kitchen. Today he requires less than I have been having. I politely reminded him that last week you requested I upped the fruit to at least 10 pieces of each. This happens a lot, the mind changing. I guess he really has nothing else to worry about! I just take it in and make a note... I am sure tomorrow it will be something else.

At the end of my shift I went out to the pool shed. To my surprise there were at least 5 kittens, possibly 6 and NO mummy cat.

I came home and went back with cat food and my cat carriers. After 40 mins I had caught 4, they were very hungry and very cute... I easily led them to my trap with a can of 9 lives!

Seems the others were a bit smarter... the storm came and I had to leave... I think there are 2 more to catch.

I popped back this evening, I didn't want them to be scared or hunted by a raccoon. I was unsuccessful and will be heading back to catch them tomorrow. Whilst I was at the hotel a guest confirmed there are in total 6 kittens, he has not seen a Mummy, but has been feeding them shrimp!

Tomorrow sees us enjoying another perk thanks to the lovely B... T, Mr PP, B and I are taking our families to see a Baseball Game !

I will be driving and you bet I will be eating a HOTDOG!

Perks of the Job

I am very fortunate to receive some 'Perks' with my job.

The pool is the best, I am able to bring my family to for a refreshing swim on a hot day.

The Fitness Center I have not used at all.

Costco Membership I am looking forward to making use of.

B she was very lucky this week, she tweeted on something and the Westside Theatre on 43rd street sent her tickets to see Love, Loss and What I Wore. It was unfortunate that B was busy and she offered me the tickets.....oh How I love the city, of course I would use them!

The night was all planned in my head.... My BFF R at my side we were meeting at the train and then heading for dinner and then to the show.... I could taste the Guinness I was going to drink from about Friday 6am.

Being a Weight Watcher the food was exciting for me... I saved all my points and ate light for the big pig out.

As the day went on my excitement grew. What to wear was a challenge, but I got there in the end.

We met as planned at the Train Station when R says to me

"Why are we not Driving?"

"I never Drive in to the NYC, I always take the train."

"Well I drive and I LOVE to drive in the city... Let me drive!"

Who was I to argue with her.... I wasn't man enough!

So off we go... on our jolly way.

Until we hit the Lincoln Tunnel.

Seems that every one was going to NYC last night...

We sat in Traffic, We laughed, We sang.... she mentioned something about slapping her for deciding to drive.

I Did.. seems not hard enough!

We joked we may even miss the Show and just eat... I was starving and I needed to eat, I was thirsty and needed a Guinness, but I sang on!

By the skin of our teeth we arrive in front of the Theatre 3 hrs after leaving the station and I dash out of the car and to the box office to pick up the FREE tickets.

I call her to tell her its OK, I got them and we have 10 mins to spare. She tells me she has parked and we head to our seats.

The line for the ladies room was very long... Good Job I didn't have a Guinness yet!

The show started, it was 100 min long.. I was already thinking I want Thai Food...

Maybe Sushi....

Great show, wonderful group of celebs telling hilarious stories about clothes and life events.

By the time we leave I could have eaten a f'ing horse, and drank its pee first. My Head was banging... I was dehydrating and famished...But hey I looked good!!

We head out to eat.... but where should we go...

I decide that we should head in the direction my BFF parked the car so that she needn't walk further than her back would allow.

She said....

"There it is over there"

"Over where" I replied as I could not see her car.

"THERE over THERE!"

"R, that is not your car"

The nice Limo driving standing by asked if her car was a Mazda... if so it was towed!

TOWED!! Holy Shit.. I am starving and now we have to go and release the car!

Have you ever tried to get cab in NYC... I have many times and find it difficult... Not tonight a 2 second wait and one stopped.

Off the the NYPD Car Impoundments... smells of horse shit... maybe there is one I can eat cos I am by this time hungrier than 10 bears!

What a place that was.. I have never seen the inside of this building before. It was a new experience for me.. all walks of life, but NO food, NO drink and NO vending machine.

To get your car back from the pound you have to have your Drivers Licence, Reg, Insurance etc. Well R had left all of the above in the car.

I had my licence so I had to give it to have access to her car to retrieve the documents she required....

After they call me and we walk to the next holding cell...I am allowed to go rummaging in her car, escorted by the NYPD blues!

Back to holding cell #1

5 or 6 times we had to tell them that it was not my car, even though they kept calling me. Eventually they work out it is R's Car and after 2 hrs we leave.

I nodded off in the car, lack of nourishment I think.

It was a very quick trip back without traffic....

We stopped at McDonalds Drive-Thru and R got Nuggets, I got a small Fries. They were cold and I didn't eat them... but I did hold her nugget tray for her so she could dip her nuggets in a combo of Sweet and sour and BarBQ sauce and drive at the same time.

When I got out the car R reminded me NEVER take free tickets again.. there is no such thing as FREE!

Today I can sit a laugh about it, even though I feel slightly robbed... a trip to the NYC without FOOD and Guinness is only half a trip.

I am owed and will go again very soon, just to eat and drink.

I may have to go alone, R is hiding in the bedroom.

But, What a great story I have to tell my grandchildren...

Me and my BFF "R" ( Big Frigging FOOL) went on an adventure to the NYC, took us 3 hrs to get there... 100 mins of a show... 2 hrs at the NYPD... 1 hrs home.

A Lifetime memory is a perk of my job.

or as Mastercard would say...

Tickets to Show $0

Cab $7

Car release fee $185

Food on Highway $10

Memory of a life time... Priceless!

Mariellen, this is for you!

Cheese Danish is back on the menu.....

Rm # 107 departed quickly and early on Saturday morning.... only to be followed by the arrival of 2 men in blue who were looking to arrest Mr J.

I guess they got a tip off, hence the swift departure.

Rm # 231 has once again ran out of money... seems the dog isn't coughing up today either. How can these people sleep at night?

Designs for a Lego hotel need to begin. Do you know how many people book a smoking room because thats all that is available and in the special requests box type NON Smoking?

Special requests are things like... Early check in, Late arrival, Pet, Rollaway Bed, Ground Floor. NOT a different room type.

So it seems they think that I can magic them out of a box and attach them to the end of the hotel?

I will keep you updated on the plans for my lego hotel.

I have ventured into the pool.... it is lovely and is my new exercise regime.

B seems to have broken workstation 1 over the weekend,. I am sure it was an accident but this is my favourite workstation and I was completely out of whack having to sit somewhere else and walk to the back office to collect my printing! I am sure it helped with my exercise though. I hope things are back to normal tomorrow. T was fixing it when I left.

I have been asked by a friend to answer the question. How often do the bedspreads get washed at a hotel?

I can only answer for my hotel... and from what I hear we are above average on this...

The bedspread is what I call the covering on the bed when you enter your hotel room. NOT the comforter/duvet/blankets underneath.

We wash ours 4 times a year, unless they have something spilt on them.

So when you arrive at a hotel...and you are a germ a phobic like me.. remove the cover before sitting on the bed.

I hope this answers your question !

Thursday Happenings.

This lady called today to say she was unhappy where she was staying and was looking for another hotel. I was not the one to answer the phone or tell her to come to us, but Mr PP gave her a rate and talked us up she couldn't refuse.

After making her reservation online so she can get a few extra reward points she called to tell me she would be arriving soon, with her 2 children.

As I thought about food... a vehicle draws in, within seconds there are 2 small children running through the flower beds outside the breakfast room...

"Oh please god NO!" my inside voice squeaked.

It took a while for an adult to come to the front desk, but sure enough she announced herself as the guest I was expecting for the other hotel.

She was agitated, who wouldn't be with those kids!

She started to tell me she was having a nightmare trip, nothing was going right, the other hotel was so bad and her kids were driving her crazy, her mother, whom she doesn't really get along with was with her and she just needed to relax.

I am thinking, check them in as fast as you can and get her out of your area.

Well, its not hard to check someone into their room... but this was!

First I ask her to fill out the highlighted areas on the card. Second pass me your method of payment. This was the tricky part.

" I will pay cash, but when I leave"!

Unfortunately, that is not possible without handing me your credit card for authorization.

She see where I am coming and hands me her card to authorise.

I had not had time to hand her the room keys when her telephone rang....

Her mother comes bounding in the front door and launches herself over the front desk demanding matches....

I was completely freaked by the weird woman.

Mrs. R finished her telephone call and asked me to reverse the authorisation I have just completed... that is not possible if you are paying cash.

She started crying and took herself off to the bathroom... by this time I had already called the B Team for backup.

Whilst standing waiting, her kids are running a muck and taking all my candy. Eventually she comes back... big black mascara streaks down her face.

She takes the room keys and wants a dolly for her luggage.

We don't have a dolly! This threw her into another tizzy.

B kindly offered to help as the lady stropped off to the car, whist the mother sat, the kids jumped on the sofa, she came back and took b's offer for help.

Poor B was a pack horse whilst the kids continued to jump on sofa in the lobby.

Why did they need so much stuff for one night?

I started thinking about how tomorrow morning is going to be, I am sure those kids are going to as well behaved in the breakfast room as they were waiting around today!

Food fight maybe?

Lets Groove Tonight!

My day started and by 8.30am I knew it was going to be a challenge.

Rm 107, Mrs J. Called me from her mobile telephone device to inform me that once again we had charged her twice for her week stay. No we have not charged you twice, there must be a Credit Authorisation hold on the account that should drop out any day as your payment was posted Sunday.

Well as you can imagine, she wanted me to deal with it right there, right now. I politely informed her that no-one was here that could authorise me to clear the hold right now and when someone came in, which I assured her would be before 10am, I would call her and sort it out.

I head to the breakfast room, because it was busy. Rm# 107 had cleared me out of most things... I needed to restock and make more coffee before another batch of departing guests wish to check out.

RING RING!!!

I dash back to the Front desk to answer the phone....

This is Blah Blah Bank calling, I have Mrs J on the line and I understand that you are unaware that you are holding money for her.

So I start.... "I can see that we posted the payment, and what you are referencing must be the authorisation which has not dropped out as yet"

"Yes said the bank. we require you to fax me a letter authorising a release on the funds."

"I have already spoken with Mrs J. and I will tell you what I told her less than 10 minutes ago... I am not authorised to do that. However if you give me a fax number I will sort it when someone who is arrives I will call her and get this sorted"

" What, you are telling me YOU are THE only person there?!"

" Yes, I am!"

I wanted to add.... "It is before 8.30.. Mrs J just left with her family and cleared me out of food in the breakfast room, she knows damn well I am the only one here!"

Now I am irritated, I have lots to do before E arrives... wanting Housekeeping reports, and here I am repeating myself. I know the coffee has brewed and now 3 people are waiting for it, Dr K is at the desk waiting to check out and the other line is ringing!!!

Please let me hang up and deal with the other things.

I hang up.... check out the Dr. and answer the other call... make a dash to put out the coffee and refill the milk jug.

RING RING !

" This is Mrs J. Are you from London?"

My mind said..."You have to be F'ing kidding me, you called me back to ask me where I am from?"

I confirmed that I am in fact from South England.

"I thought as much"

I ask Mrs. J if there is anything else she needed, I have a line of guest wishing to check out... she never gave me time to deal with them from our previous conference call with the bank. She let me hang up!

OMG its not even 8.30!!!

~

I think I might have figured out why the Americans cannot pronounce Yoghurt.... It seems they spell it wrong... They spell it yogurt... of course they are going to say yow-gurt if they spell it that way.

Please let it be known that Yoghurt is how it is spelt, and you pronounce it YOG-HURT.

~

Seems Mr. PP spoilt the Russian girls by making them a waffle yesterday. They came to the front desk at 9.45 and requested I make them Porridge.... HAHAHA!!

I point them in the right direction, but make them stir it themselves.

~

Earth, Wind and Fire took 6 rooms tonight... 2 for the tour bus drivers and the others for showering and resting....

So Lets Groove tonight.. Sing along!

Weird Happenings over night....

This morning when I arrived, I picked up the journal to have a little read of the over night happenings...

L reports weird happenings!

A smartly dressed male arrived with 3 Russian girls. He did not want to give his address or telephone number, and paid CASH for the room.

L thinks we have some newly imported Prostitutes staying with us!

At about 10am I was going between the Front desk and the Breakfast room and I saw Mr PP instructing the girls on how to use the waffle machine. I commented on what L had said and he said..." That's not them, they are too young!"

I replied..."Russian Pro's are generally YOUNG"! Well there are in the movies!

Anyway the doubting Thomas should never doubt a girl with ESPN!

He confirmed they were the residents of Rm #255, they ate and I didn't see them again. There is always tomorrow.

B and I had a hungry day... thankfully she bought her walking shoes and was able to go to the store and gets us food.

A visit from our neighbour and World Cup football. It was a good day, but lacked a visit from T!

Football is here !

As I have said before, I do like Mondays!

T was in, but we were missing B today. We shared lunch from Panera... yummy yummy!

The hotel has become Football Central... I make sure every game is on in the lobby and the breakfast room.

I love the world cup and yet again, you never know what is going to happen.

1st ENGLAND TIE WITH USA

then.....

Greece lose to South Korea, Cameroon lose to Japan and Italy tie with Paraguay.

T had some football training, she had to ask me what a yellow card was...she know understands that the game last 90 mins and yes it can end in a tie. There are such things as red and yellow cards. I haven't even touched on the off side rule yet!

I can't wait until tomorrow.

A New Record?

A couple checked in to Rm # 112 at 8.13am today, proudly handed back the keys at 8.53. When they checked in they didn't hide the fact that they were here to sexercise... but WOW, that was a short, but lets hope worthwhile workout!

Sexercising is the most expensive fitness program I am aware of at $106 for a 40 minute session, but yet so many are enjoying it!

Rm # 107 clearly dislike the other Danish flavours... way less consumed today, however 32oz of Apple Juice! I hope it whistles through you, you cheeky bugger.

I was starting to think that B has a day off today, but her smiling face arrived later after her Gold Medal Breakfast.

We decided to try a new place for lunch, what with it being payday. We were treated to delicious sandwiches and Panini, more than I could eat. B however managed to finish every morsel including the extra pickles! How does the skinny mini, stay so skinny?

We have a help wanted sign outside... and a lady popped in today to fill out an application. After siting on the sofa and completing the application she felt she needed to share her work experience with me, so that I may pass it on to the person who really needs to know. She explained she may not be able to meet the hours required, not that she doesn't want to work the hours required, her Husband may not like it. She explained how she had hotel experience... this could be a plus I guess if you decide to piss your hubby off and work the hours required. When she had finished her tale, she explained to me that she was very pleased to hear that the person hiring was female. She preferred that because she was NOT Pretty, NOT thin, basically not at all pleasing to the eyes, which apparently is what all male employers want these days!

Mr P was in the office behind and when she left and I went to put the application on T's desk, I could see he had not heard our conversation... But boy was she right, it had nothing to do with her looks, I just think he thought she would break my new chair!

I had to giggle to myself. Lets see what T thinks

Can someone please tell me why everyone wanted to check in at 2.45pm? My shift finishes at 3pm, please wait for the shift change in future L is much more fun at this hour!

Saying "NO"

Rm# 231 = A 40 something spoilt brat. I bet her mother wishes she had said "NO" 40 something years ago!

As a 38 year young woman I would be embarrassed to ask my mother to pick up my hotel bill, let alone stress her out and suck her dry of her savings. This mother really should say "NO" and mean it!

My children will thank me for teaching them at a young age that "NO" means NO, no matter how much you beg and how big you get!

Shall we take bets on who will be paying when Rm # 231 doesn't check out tomorrow?

Rm # 107 ~ Quiet, but a whole tray of Cheese Danish comsumed. I know I was taking them off the menu. Seems I should have remembered to tell Housekeeping about my evil plan!

Rm# 159/162 incurred a fee for smoking in a NON-smoking room and putting fag burns in the mattress pads. Do all smokers, smoke in bed?

Rm#114 as per our communication system at the front desk I have been warned of a bad BO problem. I have yet to see the guest and pass on the SURE.

Tuesday will not the same until September.... no more visits from T.

What a difference a weekend off makes!

I was lucky enough to spend the weekend at home.

I sometimes think about what is going on when I am not there... but you can be sure on a Monday morning I get to find out the good stuff!

I like Mondays because T and B are there...we do enjoy each others company (I think!)

As you can imagine, E was a little sleepy and cranky.

My friend Mrs M was in town this weekend, it was nice to see her this morning. She was the author of my famous comment card, she asked if I had received a pay rise yet. I informed her NO, so await another comment card soon.

Room 107 seems to have been giving everyone some entertainment. Seems they no longer can afford to Rollaway bed they had in the room, so they are down to 2 beds and seems like 6 people...How?

They eat for 10... each. I cannot believe how many Danishes these people consume. I could barely eat one they look so sweet! Seems the Cheese is the flavour they are partial too... so I am taking them off the menu this week!

Orange/Apple Juice... I think I have refilled the juice machine more times since they arrived than I have since I started working here back in Feb.

They also seem to love loud music and coffee after the hours of 9pm. Lots of complaints about the noise levels in their room. If you are going to party in a hotel, it really is best to invite your neighbours!

We have 2 other long term guests at the moment. Miss F, is going to be remembered, she is heading along the same path as Mr S from #110. She cannot communicate with the Front Desk. Seems telling us before 11 am check out that you wish to extend your stay is not going to happen, and payment.. Oh you want paying also! We tried to get the dog to pay, but it seems he forgot his wallet.

Sexercising started early this week... involving over night workout for one couple.

Regular sexercising for the others.

Holiday Weekend & Life Savers....

The Holiday weekend was a busy time for us.

Yes, the Pool is officially OPEN !

It was a full house, all rooms had bodies, which is the aim of the game everyday. Just lately it has been quiet, just like most businesses the recession has hit us.

So Sunday, over the busy period of the day I helped out. It was an eye opener for me to see people everywhere. The breakfast room completely jam packed, and people in the lobby waiting for a table in the breakfast room to open up.

What a bunch of filthy pigs! It is amazing how messy these people are. They are not the business travelers I have been so used to seeing. They are vacationers... and expect to be picked up after!

This however does not give them the right to crap in the urinal in the Mens toilet!

Seems sexercising still takes place on Holidays...

There was a car in the Car Park on Monday morning covered in Neon Post it notes, maybe notes from his friends?

Which brings me to my next tale!

Someone in their 20's came to the front desk at 5.30am asking for a pillow and a blanket. When questioned he said he was staying with his friend in Rm# 237. He was asked to confirm the name of the guest staying in the room to which he said " I don't know.... there are many of them!"

He was told we would call the room to verify to which he said " NO, everyone is asleep, do not wake them."

Obviously NO Pillow or Blanket for you!

This is not the 1st incident I have come across where guests do not know the name of the friend they are staying with!

Rm# 107 is a long term guest... I already sniff trouble brewing. Be sure to check back for more antics!

I am sure you are wondering who's life I had to save. Well, it was me who was saved... and not really my life, but my lunch. At 1pm today I was shocked to find I had left my salad dressing at home and my salad was naked. Thankfully the Manager at the Restaurant next door, lovely chap, came to my rescue with some Fat Free Tangy Tomatoe. My Salad was dressed and bloody delicious thanks to Jesse!

Summer begins....

Mrs. B. a new guest tripped and fell down the stairs yesterday evening, seems she has broken a hip and an operation is needed to fix her. This leaves Mr. B a guest with us for a little longer than anticipated. We wish her well.

Seems the prankster Ghosts are messing with the water system in the King section... scolding hot water, no cold and hot toilets can only be the work of the spirits. I love their antics!

Worldwide travelers in Rm #236 and #240. One is a very polite young man... the other a complete tosser! Polite man extended their stay One more night... Tosser called front desk to bark "Internet not vurking" I explained we were having difficulties and we were in the process of getting it fixed. 3 calls more, he gives up and stomps into the lobby... Barking and staring at me to "FIX IT".

Crickey, I must take an IT networking course so this doesn't happen again!

I politely pointed out that I cannot fix it... the business center in the lobby was also effected..SORRY! He apparently has "Velly important App to do"!

Well once again, I am sorry. I have played personal assistant for you today, every other call asked to be put through to your room... and 50% of the other calls was you asking me to fix the internet or wanting instructions on how to dial out from your room!

I guess there is one consolation... You never burped in my face today.

And just when you think you have had enough....

The phone rings and one of my favourite guests are on the line to tell me they are on their way for 2 nights.

This is why I love my Job.... You never know who is going to check in next!

Rm #255 I await your pleasant conversation at Breakfast tomorrow.

Romance is still alive!

One of our guests went all out on the romance yesterday, but it didn't end as planned.

I have spoken before about the security deposit required when guests want to pay by cash to cover incidentals and theft.

I checked a couple in at around 10am, it seems they did not need to spend the night so sometime between 3pm and 5pm they checked out and waited as the room was checked in order to have the deposit returned.
,
T, strolled off to check the room and on entering the room she saw PETALS, How romantic, he bought rose petals! Her immediate thought I am sure was... E isn't going to be happy in the morning, so T planned on cleaning that up herself!

On further inspection of the room she noticed that the Petals were all over the sheets, and in the bed. I am sure no-one would have thought that rose petals when used in this manner can stain white sheets in the same way Red Wine will.

The sheets looked like Red Wine had been splashed on them, this had seeped into the mattress pad below.

Can you imagine, standing at the front desk waiting for T to come back... he must have known there was going to be a problem!

Poor T had to tell the young romantic he had just lost $75 thanks to the staining Rose Petals...

I am happy to report that the stains were successfully removed from all items, except one. He was today refunded $65, and will probably think twice about purchasing Roses to use in this manner again.

Don't say I didn't warn you!

Monday Monday, so good to me !

Only a 5 hr shift for me today, I do like Mondays!

E was her normal chipper self this morning... I smiled and said good morning as she strolled in. I got a poked out tongue and a grunt as usual. But hey, you gotta love E!

B called, she wasn't coming in, she was on her way to 2 meetings... silly girl! Mondays are not the days for early morning meetings. I did not have much time to catch up with her as she came in clutching a 7-11 Coffee cup.

In Strolls Mr PP, "Good Morning" I say as I greet him across my counter..."What's so good about it?" was his reply... Crickey I cannot believe what a great day I am in for... please enough of the jolly humour!

T, she always makes me giggle. Mondays are no exception, even if a little tough. We were both pleased to see Mr Death, Rm #110 or AKA Just one more night... had finally departed.

This did cause me to break out in my own rendition of "Just One More Night" I figured if they were all so glum, maybe I would just sing through my shift and cheer them all up.

Sexercising started at 8.30... Glad to see someone was going to enjoy the day!

I forgot to tell you last week about the guest who couldn't get out of their room. This made me giggle so have to share it.

I was just minding my own business at about 8.15 last Thursday, when the phone rings...

"Guest Services"

"We cannot get out of our room"

"Excuse me?"

"We cannot open the door, we are locked in"

"Have you pulled back the bar?"

"Yes"

"Released your dead bolt?"

"yes"

"I will send maintenance to assist you"

You guessed it, I was maintenance at that early hour... so after telling Mr G and Miss A who were eating in the breakfast room, that I was off to assist a guest who could not get out of their room and if I did not return to send help!

I got to the door of rm # 107 and heard cries of... "We are stuck in here" I slid the door key I had made into the lock...

I received an ORANGE light... this means the Dead bolt in still in use and I cannot get it.

From behind the door I hear "See, we are stuck"

I wiggle the handle, rattle the door and I hear the dead bolt fall back into place....and a resounding...

YEAHHHHH from behind the door.

I was a HERO !

I giggled all the way back to my station, and made sure Mr B oiled the lock when they had checked out.

Saturday Night

This past weekend I got to experience life at the hotel on a Saturday night.... believe me, it wasn't half as exciting as I thought it might be!

What was funny was the look on one guests face as they strolled past the desk, this guest known in past blogs as Mr 110 or Mr Death. Yes he is still with us and still trying to avoid actually telling me when he is departing. I have tried using my "ESPN" on more than one occasion to which I have not been very successful. I really must try harder!

I did get to witness what happens when a group of guests stay with us and attend a wedding where NO shuttle is arranged...

Mrs P arrives at Lobby and announces she has booked 3 taxi's to take her and 8 others to the wedding. Along come 2 more guests, sees that they cannot squeeze in with Mrs P and orders their own taxi from another company.... Along come his taxi... All of them leave.

30 secs later 2 young ladies are in the lobby looking for the car they booked, which was the car the 2 men got into... who would have known?!

Can you see the terrible circle developing? Yes you guessed it. Someone was always in the wrong car, because no-one actually booked the cars using their names. This went on for about an hour until all 24 guests had departed in other peoples cabs, confusing me and the taxi companies with all the phone calls!

I wondered how this happened because I call the local taxi company at least once a day and 95% of the time I HAVE to give a name otherwise the taxi company gets angry with me.

I also had a very strange telephone conversation....

I answered the telephone in my usual polite manner.

"I would like to make a reservation, But do you know when the beach is open?"

I replied "The Beach is open"

Caller "THE BEACH IS OPEN!"

"Yes"

"What today the beach was open?"

I replied " Yes, the beach is open"

"Will it be open next week"

So I replied " Yes, it will be open next week"

CLUNK !

I wanted to tell them, the beach is open all year round... you just pay between Memorial Day and Labour day!

The Unwanted List

Yes it exists... A list of people not wanted at our hotel.

You really have to be a complete numpty to get yourself on this list of 23... and once you make it, you will be there forever.

One that springs to mind is Mr Smith. What a lovely gent he was. He stayed once and a while with his girl, always sleeping past check out time. Until one day he smoked in a NON-smoking room.

Apparently when Mr Smith checked in, the girl at the desk informed him we have no smoking rooms available but you can take a king smoking and you can smoke out on the patio....He thought that this meant, Smoke in a room reserved for the non smoking guests.

When you are a CASH customer, as this gent was, you hand over a $50 deposit for incidentals and at Check out you get this back once Housekeeping has checked the room and given the front desk the OK to hand it back. Yes you guessed it... E called me to report there had been smoking in the room...(hooray my petty cash just got bigger!)

Before I had even put the phone down Mr Smith was practically climbing over the front desk to explain... "I was told I could smoke on the patio".... "It must have blown in" "I want my money back NOW!"

To which I replied "Ok Sir, please calm down". Along comes GM Mr. PP, off he goes to check the room, and comes down with a clear plastic cup half filled with water with dog ends in it... this was found right next to the bed on the side table.

EWWW!!!

Mr Smith yelled at his girl for not getting rid of the evidence and he is now pacing even faster around the lobby, I can't keep up with him. He really must need his $50 back. Shall I tell him now the penalty for Smoking in a NON smoking room is $75, for the deep cleaning?!

She is trying to calm him down, as she knows this is not going very well . Last time she was in the hotel she was with a difference man... maybe she thinks I am going to comment on that. No comment from me!

It all ended very nasty... He used the F word at me, and Mr PP Banned him for life.

I was advised by my GM to go and check the room for myself, just to get my own point of view in the matter.

I could smell the smoke in the hallway, and as I entered the room nearly choked on the smoke...

Clearly Smoking in a NON-Smoking Room. Unless you want a $75 fine.. DON'T DO IT !


Next to make it on the Not Wanted List will be another Mr S who likes to Save Goats!

Friday April 30th 2010

What a lovely end to the month of April, the sun is shining and the forecast for the weekend is HOT HOT HOT!

Which brings me to my topic of blog today. Thank you MD for the reminder.

THE BREAKFAST ROOM


The breakfast room is a sunny place, especially if we are greeted by Mr Sunshine. Other days it is a Bright room with a view of the garden area in the front of the hotel.

People enjoy their breakfast in here and often comment on the lovely room with the glass frontage.

I am slowly learning that many people have different views.

Today during the early part of breakfast 7-8am, when the sun comes up and blinds me as I sit at the front desk praying it is still there when I leave at 3pm, (it has a tendency to disappear when I leave for the day) I often think for a second that the sun is blinding me, but wow what a lovely start to the day.

There was a gentleman, sitting in the breakfast room, back to the sunny window eating with his wife, watching the news.

They seemed really happy, but as I entered to get myself a cup of tea, I was asked.

"Can you close the blinds?" I did ask this man to repeat his question as I was a little shocked, hadn't had a cup of tea and may have been mishearing him.

"Can you shut the blinds?" by this time he had turned around to survey, we have no blinds.

I told Mr Q, We do not have blinds, but if you are hot I will lower the temperature on the AC for you.

"The temperature is not the problem young lady, ( hee hee YOUNG!) The problem is that I am blinded by the sun.... please remember his back is to the window.

In my mind I said, please go sit in my seat, I have white dots in front my eyes, but do you hear me complaining, its glorious out!

Asking him to turn away from the sun was not going to solve the problem, so I merely said, It is a lovely day !

"WEll, you believe me when I tell you that you WILL lose business because of this"

Oh boy... How was I going to tell Mr PP that he will be losing business now the sun is shining and everyone is flocking to the beach?

I had to ditch my Tea and head back to my sun filled area, and chuckle to myself.

I had many bad comments for him in my head...

"Maybe Sir you should visit NJ during the months of Dec/Jan/Feb, when the sun is not so often seen"

"Sir, why don't you take your breakfast back to your room and enjoy it from your patio"

"I advised that if you stay another night, you lay in bed an extra hour and come down to breakfast when the sun is slightly higher in the sky and won;t bother you"

Can you believe by the time he checked out he had surveyed the Breakfast Room and presented me with a solution for the SUN discomfort he felt.

Purchase a lot of the tint you can buy to put across the top section of your car windscreen and place it on the top 3ft of the windows....

My solution.... You do not stay again if the sun bothers you,go to the UK for a vacation instead!

Tuesday April 27th 2010

Today the question posed is... Should the Breakfast room be a quiet room or a room for morning chit chat and conversation?

This morning Mr R, who arrived last night from the Mid-west was quietly sitting enjoying his breakfast... Sitting not so far from him was Mr C, also enjoying his breakfast and a copy of US Today.

I wandered in every now and then, checking the coffee etc and they were both in their own little worlds enjoying their quiet time.

Along comes Mr Death, remember him from my previous blog...set his boss on me because he didn't like his room rate (yes, still here) well, he is closely joined by Miss A, a long term guest working for FEMA.

All seemed well as I said "good morning"

10 mins may have passed and I entered the room again... oh boy you could cut the air with a butter knife! All I did was ask Mr. Death if he infact was checking out today as planned.

"No" he replied, "and we cannot talk in here, this is a quiet room you know!"

I was a little bemused and looked around.

Miss A has her head in her oatmeal, trying to hide in it.

Mr R winked and Mr C was chuckling very hard but as quiet as can be from behind his US today... it was moving rapidly, I could tell he was laughing !

It seems that I am not the only person who is easily annoyed by Mr Death. Mr R told him to be quiet and take is terrible conversation elsewhere.

Mr Death was offended and took his breakfast to his room, maybe he shared with his dogs.

Thank you Mr R for my quiet Breakfast room this morning... we all enjoyed the peace and quiet and the giggles from behind the paper.

Poor Miss A, she will avoid him tomorrow I am sure. The others departed on time.

Monday April 26th 2010

Mondays are always a slow morning, and I enjoy catching up in the stories from the weekend in our little communication book, chuckling to myself.This week a little slower due to the busy weekend at home, and lack of funnies in the book.

VocalDente were staying this weekend. Known to us as singing dentists, B took the group booking.

What a surprise I got when they one by one they came down for Breakfast... alas NOT singing dentists, in fact very cute European singing group. OK not my kind of music, but pleasing on the eyes. Poor B was at a breakfast meeting and missed the entertainment.

Sexercising started early today... L takes the day, I hope enjoying every moment! Breakfast is always taken to that room, and sometimes a late check out the following day ensures you get your money's worth even if you cannot spend the night.

It does however make me wonder who on earth can afford this activity !

Senario.... Man walks in and says " I'll take a room in the back, King Bed Please" Cash comes out... so you know he wants NO trace.

A King room is running you at $128.10 for the night.

When that person checks out only 3hrs later... that is one heck of an expensive Sexercising session!

Maybe I am greedy... but for $128.00 I would expect a lot more than 3 hrs !

These are the kinds of people that entertain my day, and make my job full of laughs.

Then there is E, Head Housekeeper and NOT a bundle of laughs on a Monday morning.. things can only get better with some more help. I did offer her a Choc Chip Muffin, but she didn't bite.

With Mr PP out for a while I have been missing my mini York Peppermint Patty treats. He leaves them for my when I least expect it... I guess T noticed that the lack of Peppermint Patties was effecting my work... One HUGE giant Peppermint Patty was handed to me with a smile. Thanks T it was delicious!

Goodbye Room 127

The occupants of Room 127 have been with us for over 3 weeks, a single mother and her 3 boys came to us the day after a fire tore through the home she rented.

This lady did everything in her power to find another home for her family, but as we all know, this is a very expensive state we live in.

Days and weeks of tough decisions, she finally decided she was leaving the state with her boys to be near her family.

This has been a very a traumatic time for this family, and being a single parent you really do have to take it all, the good and the bad alone.

Little J will be missed tomorrow, I smile as he hands his mother a small cup of Orange Juice every morning, he looked after her! He learnt how to toast his own bagel, and even spread the Cream Cheese!

Mom always looked drained, in need of a hug or a friendly shoulder to lean on. Often she would take the kids to school and return for an adult conversation with either myself or B.

I will miss them tomorrow, but fear not... I have come to learn so quickly that when one leaves another one soon checks in.

I wish them well in their new life, it will be a great adventure for them all. She looked so happy to be on her way to this new life she is creating...

Wednesday April 21st 2010

Busy, Busy with people in and out.

We have lots of regulars in house, and a few extended stays and they are 'Family'.

Rm 242 always makes me smile, she is here from Georgia co-ordinating a disaster relief center in a near by town.. and always comments on how "Model" like I look each day.. I have these lovely morning comments for another 2 weeks ~ yipee! I did mention that she might need to get her eyes checked by the doctor, and she just laughs at me and tells me how 'bright' I make her morning.


Rm 241 stay for a week at a time, they were not here last week, but returned on Monday. They make me smile, 3 guys who are very nice with a love for Banana's for breakfast!


Rm 103 I will leave for another day !


Rm 128 visits for a couple of nights each week... he has a love for Chinese Massage Treatments... It may be verging on "R" Rated, but didn't have time to ask!


Rm 110 has been here for 4 weeks now, nice enough, but thinks I am a Numpty! (Numpty = Stupid) When he first arrived I turned a blind eye to the fact that he was sneaky two of the biggest dogs you have ever seen into his room. We are pet friendly, but do charge a small fee to cover the cost of the deep cleaning of the room after you have departed. For reasons unknown to me he was convinced we have been grossly overcharging him for his room. So yesterday I went through his account and double checked the payments... he was right we had in error over charged him by 0.01 cent.

I apologised and deducted the amount from his next payment for the next 2 nights.

Then today I get a call from him where he proceeds to hand the telephone over to his BOSS.. he is paying the bill ! ! Well he ranted and raved on at me, I couldn't get a word in edgeways. So I politely told him, "if he would stop talking over me, lower his voice and I would do my very best to solve the issue in hand". After detailing the bill he was pleasant enough when we said Goodbye.

But, all I could hear in the background was Mr 110 yelling... "I never agreed to that, I thought Seventy something... Well I am gonna go in there and contest this!" I asked myself, Is this before or after I charge you for your giant dogs?

Tuesday April 20th 2010

Everyone was pleased to see my "ESPN" is working to its full potential. I have had a few doubts with regards to my psychic ability, but my psychic friend is convinced I have 'A Gift'.

We all try to use our powers whenever possible. But, when the caller asks "Do you do a short stay ?" I have to responded... "That depends on what YOU consider a short stay!"

Housekeeping worked very quietly today trying not to disturb the "sleeping bunnies" in house. It was unfortunate for One Bunny that someone made an error and I inadvertently woke him up! Sleeping Bunnies are those who work the night shift and require a bed to hibernate during the day!

As we all know we all learn something new everyday.... today I learnt 2 things.

1. Yes B does seem to know everything

2. Always carry a coffee pot like a newborn baby or football, otherwise the handle can be left in your hand as the pot crashes to the floor spilling hot coffee all over the floor and filling ones shoes!

Monday April 19th 2010

Blimey, time flies when you are having fun!

Did I mention my shift starts at 7am..... so breakfast is on the checklist when I arrive in the morning... I want to know who needs all that cream cheese with the very few bagels consumed on a daily basis.

We have 2 choices of coffee... well 3 if you included DeCaf... Can you call that Coffee? The two Choices are Gourmet or Bold. J thinks the bold will put hairs on your chest so we try to discourage the female guests and employees from drinking it... so Gourmet it is for them. As it is Monday I make sure I have more than enough.

E however, drinks soda, but boy on a Monday she should try the bold... it might make her less beast like and more amenable to conversation. We love her though after Noon :-)

Sexercising started promptly at 8am, but only one participant. I am presuming a partner was supplied shortly after check in.

Due to the volcanic ash Europeans travelling back seem stranded. It was interesting listening to them, and I really wished I had paid attention during French... They were chillin on the lobby like it was there living room. Chairs being moved and monolopising the computer. Nice to see they feel at home!

Mr M has been playing musical rooms this weekend, and seems his extended stay has started to bore him, so to liven things up he thought he would try a Queen Bed for a couple of nights.... Too small, off up to the Executive King for a night and today he would like to try 162... Lets hope he likes it there and his boredom has been alleviated. Maybe tomorrow we could try another game which does not involve me having to tell E you are moving!